Yup, they’re pirates. But at least Somali pirates are honest enough not to pretend to be anything but … Somali pirates. For example, unlike Wall Street executives, Somali pirates don’t run those odious ads on Sunday political shows. You know, the ads that tell us Wall Street executives work tirelessly to ensure we all retire loaded and that we all sail into retirement on that yacht shown in their ad.

And of course, anyone who somehow does get to sail off on that yacht had better watch out for (you guessed it) Somali pirates.