Where's the Outrage?

If you’re single and in your mid-30s, it doesn’t matter who you go out with. Whatever you do is between you and your partner and that’s the way it should be. On the other hand, if you’re a married man with four children, you have responsibilities to provide more than just money. Now, don’t get me wrong. In this economy providing money is plenty, but it isn’t the whole story. Children need guidance, too.

Jason Whitlock of the Kansas City Star rightly pointed out the true tragedy in McNair’s death… his four children. Four young boys were denied a father because Steve McNair was not focused on what was most important in his life. It really doesn’t matter what was going on between Steve McNair and his wife. What matters is that McNair did not position himself for the long haul.

I spent a lot of time recently thinking about affirmative action and the black community. The Civil Rights Act passed in 1964. For nearly 20 years minorities and women made huge strides into closing the quality gap. Something happened around 1980. I’m not saying that it was just Ronald Reagan. Instead, I think it was an atmosphere of hostility towards both affirmative action and unions, which together has helped to cripple the black community. (Of course, there are other factors.  There are internal problems in the black community which are critical to retarding personal growth but, for now, I’m focusing on external problems.)

I do not have any statistics, but I would bet that a large percentage of union jobs were held by blacks. As Reagan and the rest of the conservatives waged war on unions, blacks lost jobs in droves. Wall Street applauded as large corporations shipped union jobs overseas. This devastated the black community. There were hundreds of thousands of black men without jobs and no prospects on the horizon. Many of these men, for various reasons, become incarcerated or fell into low wage dead-end jobs.

Against this backdrop, we have Steve McNair. He’s just completed a highly successful 14-year career as an NFL quarterback. The number of black NFL quarterbacks can be counted on two hands since the inception of the league more than 70 years ago. McNair had an obligation to guide his young boys through the hazards that afflict all young Americans, but especially those that have ensnared so many young black men. All McNair had to do was to stay on the path. He had made it out of the inner city (da’ hood).  Imagine being a multimillionaire. You have every creature comfort you need. Your only job is to be a husband and father. That’s it. (I’m not saying that being a husband and father is easy. I’m not saying that being Steve McNair was easy. I’m saying that he made it through the tough parts.)  You can’t tell me that McNair wasn’t on Easy Street.

I hope that Steve McNair’s sons find a new role model. Role models are so hard to find these days — especially in the black community.

What a real tragedy.

Update: Now contrast Steve McNair’s story to Arianna Huffington’s post from earlier today. Check this out -

CRETE — My ex-husband and I recently celebrated our 12th anniversary. That’s how long we’ve been divorced — one year longer than we were married.

Just like marriage, divorce isn’t easy either, and ours has been no exception. But even though we no longer had a marriage to keep us together, we had something even more powerful — our daughters. And, spurred by our mutual devotion to them, we have made a huge effort to work through all the difficulties and be friends.

She goes on to bring her point home, just in case you were to dense to figure it out.

Our children, after all, are the most important thing in our lives — and in most parents’ lives, for that matter. It’s a fact that becomes even more inescapable here in Greece, which is an utterly child-centered society. Children here are treated as little gods, creatures of worship — little totemic beings everyone wants to touch and nurture. They are made to feel so special, with even the tiniest accomplishment cause for exclamations of appreciation and praise.

The fact that Michael and I have these two girls (young women now, really) together is a bond that transcends all grievances we have had through the years.

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