Where's the Outrage?

So, I was talking with a friend of mine today and he said something that was so un-American, I had to share it. If you just look at him, he looks normal. He talks normal. He spent some time in the military. He has been working in hospitals for over 20 years. He is not a doctor, nor is he a hospital administrator. When he started talking about his finances, I thought it was going to be time to notify Homeland Security. He has no debt. None. He owns his own house. Both of his cars have been bought and paid for. He does not have a credit card. He does not invest in stocks. Yet, he has no debt. Isn’t this un-American? I told him that the American thing to do would be to buy not one but two large Mercedes (one should be the sporty SL 65 and the other should be the S-class sedan). Secondly, he needs to sell his house and buy something that costs 10 times more. I told him, I would have to turn him in to authorities if he does not stop this un-American behavior and spend money wildly. (I am a tad bit jealous.)